


the difficulties of reveals

by LethalBookshelves



Series: your dad is calling [7]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: 3+1s, 5+1 Things, Eating Competition, Father-Son Relationship, Fix-It of Sorts, Fluff, Gen, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Humor, Identity Reveal, Irondad, Kidnapped Peter Parker, Kidnapping, Spider-Man Identity Reveal, Swearing, Team Cap friendly, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, like quite a bit of swearing, peter and tony are pretending to be biologically related, ragnarok team arrives
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-27
Updated: 2019-05-27
Packaged: 2020-03-20 01:54:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18982813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LethalBookshelves/pseuds/LethalBookshelves
Summary: After the kidnapping, Peter and Tony give serious thought to revealing everything to the Rogues, from Peter’s alter-ego and his relation to Tony.It... doesn't quite go according to plan. Instead it involved an eating contest, footprints on the ceiling, literal GODS descending from the sky, and the most idiotic follow-up kidnapping attempt they’ve ever seen.Alternatively: 3 times they try and tell the team Peter is Spider-man, and the 1 time they finally manage to do it.





	the difficulties of reveals

**Author's Note:**

> so sorry for being like a literal month late! i'll make my excuses in the end notes, so enjoy the fic!! (not beta-ed, sorry for any mistakes)

“Dad…” Peter spoke up from where he laid on the medbay bed. He was really only there for show (and for Tony’s sake) since his injuries weren’t that bad. He waits for Tony to turn back to him before continuing. “I think we should tell the team.”

Tony looked surprised, letting the StarkPad he was looking at fall into his lap. “About us?”

Peter’s eyes widened. “Oh, no! No, nonono, I meant Spider-man, you know. But like, if you think we should tell them about us that’s fine with me too.” Peter hastily added. Actually, it was a little less than fine, because Peter  _ loved  _ being Tony’s son. It had been so long since he’d had someone to call Dad, and it allowed Peter to be around Tony constantly without raising any eyebrows. But if Tony wanted to tell the team, then he wouldn’t kick up a fuss.

The man gives him a look, like he knows exactly what Peter was thinking. “I’ll only tell the team what you feel comfortable with, Pete, you know this.”

He flushes, averting his eyes. “I know, I know, but if you want to tell them everything I won’t mind. I mean, it won’t really change much, right?” 

Tony sighs and Peter tenses, fearing the worst. Tony places a finger under his chin, gently turning Peter’s face until he has no choice but to look at his fath—no, his mentor. Peter needs to remember this won’t last forever, even though he knows that Tony doesn’t mind the title. “Peter, you know I love you right?”

The boy jolts, a happy tingle warming his entire body. No matter how many times he hears it, those words always bring a smile to his face. “Y-yeah, I know. I love you too.”

“Then you should know that no matter what the team believes, you’ll always be my kid.” And with an affectionate hair ruffle, Tony manages to say exactly the right things to make Peter’s worries fade away. At least, for the moment. He knows these thoughts will resurface later. “But, you want to tell them about Spider-man?”

Peter nods, leaning back into the mound of pillows Clint had brought in for him. “They’d probably realize pretty soon that not every 15-year-old teenager can heal that quickly. And I know I can trust them.”

He doesn’t know what happened between Tony and Steve in Siberia, but whatever bad blood lied between them seemed to have watered down. Tony was now almost as relaxed with the Rogues as he was with him and Pepper. Peter had known since their first meeting that Steve was genuinely sorry, and Peter was always one to give second chances. Plus, his spidey-sense had stayed quiet the entire time he’d known them.

Tony lets out a whoosh of air, frowning a bit in concentration. “Not that I think they’d spill your secret or anything, but are you sure you’re ready?”

Peter nods again, more firmly this time. “I know I can trust them.”

Tony nods back. “So, how do we tell them?”

“I was thinking I could just tell them during one of your meetings, or whatever.” Peter shrugs. “I don’t really want to make a big deal of it.”

“So you don’t want to stage a huge press conference to deny any relation to the superhero Spider-man, only to then reveal the fact you actually  _ are _ the superhero Spider-man?” Tony clarifies, a smirk on his face. 

Peter rolls his eyes playfully. “I’m not as extra as you are, Dad.”

“I beg to differ.” Tony sniffs.

“Then beg.” Peter said unhesitatingly, face impassive.

There’s a pause.

_ “ _ You’re so grounded, Peter Benjamin Parker—” Tony says, voice fake-stern.

“Who’s that? I’m Peter Benjamin  _ Stark _ .” Comes Peter’s cheeky reply, unaware of how his words affect the man. Tony swears his heart stops for a moment, and he thinks,  _ that doesn’t sound bad at all. _

In true Tony Stark fashion, he ignores the emotions, instead continuing the gag. “You’re so grounded,  _ Peter Benjamin Parker Stark _ . There, I covered both bases. How are you gonna get out of that?”

“I have gone temporarily deaf and haven’t any idea what you said this entire time,” Peter quips, twiddling his thumbs and grinning at the ceiling. Tony bursts into laughter, reaching up to ruffle his kid’s hair.

“You’re lucky I love you, kid.” 

“I know.” They smile.

  
  


1.

 

Tony is certain Natasha knows what’s up, and can’t figure out if she’s pretending not to know or if the whole team knows and they’re just messing around.

When Tony calls a group meeting for an important announcement, Natasha gives him a smirk. “About time.” And then she takes a seat at the dining room table, picking some fries and slathering them in ketchup.

Peter looks perplexed at Natasha’s attitude, and whispers to him. “Which ‘about time’ is she referring to?” The Spider-man thing or the father-son thing?

Tony shrugs. “I’ve learned not to question her at this point. Eat something, Pete, this could go sideways real fast.”

By the time they manage to get their ragtag team of superheroes together, minus Vision and Rhodey, Peter’s already eaten three slices of pizza. “Damn, son, you eat more than good ol’ Captain America here.” Sam jokes, taking a slice for himself.

Peter flushes, slowing down a bit. Tony comes to defend him. “Shove off, Big Bird. Just ‘cause he doesn’t look like a pregnant woman after eating like you shouldn’t warrant this sort of jealousy.”

“Oh-ho? Is this a challenge I sense?” Clint pops in.

“I think it is.” Steve smiles, voice teasing.

Tony and Peter lock eyes. 

_ Are you prepared to have an eating contest with the Avengers, kid? _

_ You bet. _

Everyone takes their places at the table. Peter was going to go against Steve and Sam, and whoever was able to eat the most food the fastest without throwing up would be declared winner. To even the playing fields, Sam and Steve had to eat three pizza slices each.

“You idiots ready to eat yourselves sick?” Wanda said, looking very amused.

“Ready as I’ll ever be.”

“Go hard or go home.”

“Isn’t it go big or go home?”

“Shut up and eat, old man.”

This wasn’t quite what the meeting was meant to be about, but when have they ever come together and stuck to the plan? The competition starts.

Tony worries slightly over Peter’s well-being as he watches the small boy shove food into his mouth, and if he had any inkling that Peter was going to get sick, he was going to make him forfeit, pride be damned. The watch he’d made for Peter was strapped firmly onto his wrist, and Tony watches his vitals like a hawk (Tony had also wondered if he could get a microchip implanted into Peter so they’d never have to worry about a kidnapping again, but even Tony wouldn’t do something like that to Peter). But for now, he’s going to have fun watching the shocked faces of Steve Rogers and Sam Wilson as they see with their own two eyes that Peter can keep up with them.

Sam is the first to go, obviously, since he was the only regular guy (not that the others know that Peter was enhanced as well) but that didn’t mean they didn’t give him a lot of shit for stopping first.

“You sure you don’t want to stop, Peter?” Steve asks despite still piling food onto his plate.

Peter shoves an entire drumstick into his mouth and only the bone makes it back out. “What, you chickening out?”

The team snickers, and Tony gives him an encouraging pat on the back.

Steve grins. “Not in the slightest.”

Tony has never seen two people eat so much in his life, and he’d personally lived with a Norse God for a while. They finally start slowing down when most of the table is clear, and then the fight really starts.

“C’mon, Pete! You can do this!” Tony cheers.

“Don’t let America down like this, Rogers!” Sam yells.

It only takes a few minutes for Steve to flop backwards, groaning. “I give! I give.”

“Yaaaay!” The father-son duo shriek in delight, high-fiving. “Oh gross, Peter! You’re hands are covered in grease!”

Tony’s disgusted voice sends Peter into a fit of giggles, still sort of delirious from all the food. “You’re covered in grease all the time! Like, always!”

It must have been an inside joke, because they burst into laughter, Peter rolling off the chair and onto the floor. Steve watches, confused, but accepts it as some sort of family thing he doesn’t understand.

“Oh, Dad, help meeeee.” Peter moans from the floor.

“What’s the magic word?”

“Help, I’ve fallen and I can’t get up.” Is the reply, and to the team’s astonishment Tony actually helps him.

“What kind of magic word is that?” Clint says, scratching his head in confusion.

Tony shrugs. “Teenager thing.”

The man stands up with Peter leaning heavily on his side, who’s still giggling and red-faced. “I think he needs a nap—”

“No nap! I don’t need no nap!” Peter pouted, straightening up from his father’s side, only to immediately start tipping in the other direction. Tony doesn’t bat an eye, just reaches out to grab Peter’s arm, stopping the tipping when Peter’s at a 45 degree angle from the floor.

“No nap for Peter, we’re just going to get you in bed and rest for about 3 hours while the food high wears off.” Tony corrects himself, dragging the boy back up to his side.

“Mmmhmm.” Peter, satisfied, completely let’s go of all tension in his body and drops to the floor like a sack of flour. Tony wasn’t prepared for the drastic change in weight, and so Peter’s arm slipped from his hold and he cringed at the  _ thump _ of a body hitting the floor. 

“...Pete? You alright?” Tony kneels down next to the boy, barely even trying to hide the worry in his voice from his teammates like he would have months prior—because that’s what they were, teammates. Teammates were allowed to be vulnerable in front of each other. 

There’s a pause.

“Mmmmmmmhmmmmmmm. I’m just gonna sleep here.” Peter mumbles from the cool floor, curling up into a ball.

The team lets out a collective sigh of relief, and Tony smiles fondly at the kid. “Why don’t you give me a hand and just walk with me to your room, hmm?”

“Nah, this is good.” It seemed like Peter had slipped into a food coma, and Tony knew it was useless to try and get him to move when he didn’t want to. That boy could be as stubborn as Tony himself.

“I’ll help him.” Steve said. But when he stood up from his chair and took a step, he immediately came crashing to the floor. 

Everyone cried out in alarm as the 220+ pound hunk of muscle slammed onto the ground. “Steve!”

“I’m good…” The super soldier groaned, but made no move to get up. “I think I ate too much. Sorry, Tony, I don’t think I’m in any shape to pick Peter up.”

“It’s no problem, Cap, just… lie there.” Tony said, amused. He’s pretty sure that bodyslam cracked the concrete. Steve must have pecs made of goddamn vibranium.

“I can help.” Wanda speaks up, and Tony can pick out the slightest hesitancy. “But I’ll have to use my powers.”

The rest turn to look at Tony to see his reaction. It’s common knowledge that Tony isn’t the biggest fan of magic, and Wanda’s magic didn’t hold the best memories for the inventor. But this is a new age, and Tony’s been working on getting through past trauma. Exposure therapy, Peter called it. “As long as you promise you won’t accidentally drop him down the stairs.”

Wanda smiles, and with some wavy hand motions, Peter is floating upon a red cloud. The boy in question pries an eyelid open, notices that he’s floating, and grins sleepily. “Sweet. Dad doesn’t let me use thrusters.”

Tony rolled his eyes while the team looks on, confused. Only Tony understands that Peter was talking about when he wanted to add thrusters into the Spider-man suit so he could fly as well as swing, but Tony had quickly shot that idea down. “Don’t be a baby about it, you fly enough as you do.”

The team says their goodbyes to the pair as they disappear into the elevator. Steve is still on the floor.

“...Why were we called here again?” Clint questions. Natasha smirks.

“Who knows.”

  
  


2.

 

The next time they try and tell someone, it’s only slightly more successful. It does involve almost giving Sam a heart attack, but it was successful.

Peter had been tired from school, patrols, working with Tony, and then hanging out with the Avengers. Eventually it all came to a head as Peter wandered around at 4AM in the morning half-awake—no, not even half-awake, only like a fifth-awake—after finally completing his four essays for his AP Literature class. Seriously, who cared about the repeating images and motifs in one of the three stories they were meant to read? Certainly not Peter.

Tony was in the workshop, and Peter was hoping he’d manage to get some food and drink without alerting his dad that he was still awake. The man had sent Peter to bed ages ago, but Peter still had more essays to write and wanted to finish them that day instead of later because he’d wanted to spend more time in the lab.

A yawn escapes his mouth, and his eyes are half-lidded. Peter heads towards the kitchen, the low ambient lighting making Peter’s drowsy state worse. Maybe just closing his eyes for a bit wouldn’t hurt; his spidey-sense would warn him if he was about to walk into something.

So Peter closes his eyes and shuffles forward, relying on muscle memory to walk to the common room kitchen. He could have gone up to his and Tony’s floor, but he’d camped out at the Avengers floor to concentrate and was too lazy to go up.

There’s a slight shift in direction, but Peter’s still moving forward so he doesn’t bother opening his eyes to find out what happened. 

He’s been walking for a while, not hitting anything, before he hears a sound. Someone’s opened the fridge, and the clanking of glass is audible.  _ Oh good, someone can get the water for me. _ He slowly lowers himself to the ground, ready to take a nap right then and there.

“Can you pour me some water too?” Peter mumbles, already dead tired. 

Sam will deny it until he was blue in the face, but he shrieked like a prepubescent girl when he spots Peter after hearing his voice. The teenager was on the ceiling! Repeat, PETER WAS ON THE GODDAMN CEILING!

“Oh lord, sweet Jesus Christ Almighty, please let me be dreaming.” Sam mutters, horrified when Peter doesn’t even react to his manly scream of terror. The boy just folds in on himself and… takes a nap? On the CEILING?! He knew he shouldn’t have eaten those brownies Clint gave him; they must have been laced with some hella crazy drugs.

Sam is torn between smacking Peter with a broom, smacking himself with a broom, or just leaving and pretending like he never saw this. He’d had his suspicions about Peter, especially since he reminded him of a certain web-slinging annoyance at the airport in Germany and from the eating contest, but wasn’t going to say anything about it. Also, if it were true, then that would mean Sam almost had his ass handed to him by a teenager.

“Uh, kid? You alright?” Sam hesitantly walks underneath the bundle of limbs on the ceiling, praying that he didn’t suddenly unstick and fall and break his neck. “Kid?”

“Water?” Peter mumbles again, seemingly not noticing that he was  _ not on the ground. _

“I’ll get you some water, just come here.” Sam replies a little more urgently. Annoying web-slinging vigilante or not, Peter being held up way-too-many feet up in the air with no form of tethering was not good for Sam’s stress levels.

Peter doesn’t reply this time, and Sam can feel the beads of sweat dripping down his face. Who knew what Tony would do if Sam was there to witness the demise of his son; probably castrate him.

Then Sam’s panic-addled mind realizes something. “FRIDAY! Call Tony and get him to get his ass to the kitchen ASAP.” He hisses, still standing underneath Peter’s body in case he falls.

_ “Right away, Mr. Wilson.” _

It doesn’t take long before Tony is rushing into the dimly lit kitchen wearing a tee and oil stained sweatpants, hair a mess. “Wilson?! What’s wrong?”

Sam doesn’t reply, just shakes his head and points above him. Tony’s eyes narrow, confused, before following Sam’s finger. It’s hilarious how Tony’s eyes widen and his jaw drops. “Peter?!”

“Dad?” At least Peter’s not fully asleep. Sam doesn’t want to know if the stickiness disappears when he’s not awake. Why is he so sticky? Was he wearing some kind of device? Or was Peter just sticky??

“Yeah, bud. That’s me. Do you know where you are right now?” Now that he knows there’s no real danger, Tony’s voice is faintly amused, not even worried, and Sam is accepting the fact that the Starks were just weird as hell. He sighed, going to lean on the kitchen island to watch what would happen.

“I’m… at home.” Peter takes a long time to speak, the worlds slow and lethargic.

“Uh huh. Where at home?”

“...The kitchen.”

“Well, you sure are, kiddo. But unfortunately you’re on the wrong side of the kitchen.” Tony softly admonishes, a full-blown smirk on his face.

“I am?” 

“Why don’t you open your eyes and see for yourself?”

Peter painstakingly pries one eyelid open, looks around, then says. “Huh.”

Sam is about to scream. _Huh?!_ Just _huh?!_ _My heart almost gave out._ But he doesn’t say that out loud, choosing to simply chuckle lowly as he watches Tony try and get his son off the ceiling.

“Buddy, can you make your way to the wall? It’s not far, kid, I promise, and then we can get you into bed.” Tony tries to convince Peter, but Peter was stubborn.

“Noooo, it’s comfortable here.” Peter curls up even more. “It’s nice and warm.”

“That’s ‘cause warm air rises, but I promise that your bed is just as warm, and infinitely more comfortable. Great insulation there.”

Peter does end up crawling to the nearest wall after more prodding, and makes it about halfway down before stopping. “I’m tired, Dad. Can’t I stay here?” He practically whines, and Sam is cursing himself for not videoing this for blackmail.

“C’mere, Petey, I got you.” Tony reaches his arms up and Peter takes one look at his father before falling right onto him. Tony stumbles from the force, but manages to right himself with the kid in his arms without needing Sam’s help. Peter wraps his arms and legs around Tony, resting his head on his shoulder with a content sigh. Sam can’t fault him; it’s an ungodly hour of the night, and the kid must be tired. Being in a parent’s embrace must automatically make a child feel safe.

Tony looks at the adorable new addition to his body and smiles so fondly that Sam has no choice but to smile too. It’s almost eerie how much Tony had changed while the Rogues were gone, and Sam had only met the guy a handful of times at professional events, but he knew Tony was never really open with emotions; being allowed to witness a tender moment between father and son was a big deal.

“So. About that…” Tony starts, turning to face Sam.

Sam grins, shaking his head in exasperation. “I don’t even wanna know. I’m guessing this was what the meeting was supposed to be about?”

The smirk on the billionaire’s face was enough of a response, and Sam laughs. “Just get the spider-kid to bed. I’ll decide what to do with this information tomorrow morning if this isn’t a dream or a hallucination.”

Sam is almost out the kitchen area when Tony calls out his name. “Yeah, man?”

“Thanks, Sam. For not, you know, freaking out. Well, more than you did.” There’s a hint of insecurity that hides beneath the joking tone, as well as genuine sincerity. Now, Sam would never admit it, but hearing the great Tony Stark thank him for just being a decent person made his eyes burn.

“Uh, no problem, Tony. Get some rest.” Sam clears his throat, sending a wave back to the pair before leaving. He thinks he’ll keep this revelation quiet for now; it would be interesting to see how Peter was planning on telling everyone.

  
  


3.

 

The next time Tony tried to get everyone together, it seemed like it would actually go according to plan. He was pretty sure Natasha knew, and Sam was smirking knowingly. Vision already knew the whole she-bang, and Wanda seemed much more mellow and mature now than she was when she first met them. Clint had just come back from visiting his family, and Steve had come back from visiting Bucky in Wakanda. 

Tony had extended the invitation to Bucky too, but the man declined, saying he would rather have Shuri double-check everything before being released. The billionaire hadn’t met the guy since that fateful day in Siberia, but he’d been getting reports from both King T’Challa and Shuri about Bucky’s progress. He’d been slowly moving past what the Winter Soldier had done all those years ago, and Tony was pretty confident that he wouldn’t go after Bucky’s head if he did come. Plus, Peter was really curious about the metal arm.

“So!” Tony clapped his hands for attention. “Now that we’re all here, my kid and I have something to tell you, and this time we aren’t going to go off track.”

Rhodey was standing next to Tony, offering his support because Pepper had to go to work. As much as Tony trusted the Rogues now, he still knew that they wouldn’t be completely fine with him having sent a 14-year-old boy to fight a war—not that Tony was expecting it to escalate like it did. Even Peter was nervous, standing at Tony’s other side, nervously fiddling with the ends of his t-shirt: his favored ‘I lost an electron!’ ‘Are you positive?’ one that he had worn when Tony first offered him a spot on the Avengers.

Tony draped an arm across Peter’s shoulders without hesitation, already feeling the tension start to leave the poor boy. Peter leaned further into his side, drawing as much comfort as he could before the mess the reveal could cause. Peter just hoped the time they’d spent together in the past few weeks would be enough to keep a fight from breaking out. He was pretty confident that it wouldn’t.

The rest of the team were smiling at the parental move, and the easy atmosphere was almost too beautiful to break. Tony cleared his throat. “My first request is that everyone stay calm.”

At least they had Sam, Vision, and Rhodey (and most likely Natasha) on their side if things didn’t go well. Tony gave Peter’s shoulder a squeeze, and the teenager took a shaky breath.

“Well, I’d like to say—HOLY  _ SHIT!” _ Peter’s reveal is interrupted by a booming clap of thunder, flashes of lightning streaking across the sky. Everyone jumps, and Tony presses Peter closer into his side.

“Watch your language, kid.” Tony says on reflex, but no one pays attention to him as FRIDAY’s voice echoes through the common room.

_ “Boss, it appears that Thor, Bruce Banner, and Loki have arrived on the designated landing area on the balcony.” _

The balcony was the same place they’d had their snowball fight, and before Thor had left Tony had made sure that Thor knew where exactly to come back so he didn’t leave scorch marks into random areas of the Tower. “At least the guy remembered how to be courteous.” Tony mumbled, tense. What was Loki doing here?

“Thor? The God of Thunder? And-and Dr. Bruce Banner?!” Peter practically squeals from under his arm, and when Tony looks over he sees that his kid’s eyes are sparkling with wonder. “Oh my god! I thought they were missing?”

“They were.” Natasha responds, jaw tight but Tony could see emotion swirling in those green eyes. 

“Why is Loki here?” Clint was understandably tense. After being mind controlled by the trickster God he wasn’t in any mood to see him again, and neither was Tony.

“I’m sure Thor wouldn’t have brought him if he didn't have a good reason.” Steve assured them, but even Captain America seemed uncomfortable with the idea that Loki was back. “Let’s meet them. FRIDAY, inform them we’re going.”

“Wow! Meeting Thor and Dr. Banner! This is amazing!” Peter whispered to Tony, grinning up at him. 

“Well, actually, you’re gonna stay right here.” Tony butted in, raising his eyebrows up. “You’re crazy if you think I’m letting you go anywhere  _ near _ that homicidal god.”

“What?! Dad!” He sputtered. “I’ll be fine!”

“No, nuh-uh. You’re staying right here, where you’re safe.”

“That’s not fair!” Peter searched around the room for help, and like the good samaritan he was, Steve came to his defense.

“Tony, I’m sure we can all keep him safe if he came with us.”

“Yeah, and I’m sure he could take care of himself if push comes to shove.” Sam adds with a pointed look.

Tony looks to Rhodey to see his opinion, but he just shrugs. “Your call, Tones. He’s your kid.”

But when Tony looks back at Peter, he’s doing the puppy eyes. No one can resist the puppy eyes. He groans. “Fine, but if things start to go bad you run back inside as fast as you can, you hear me?”

Peter cheers, wrapping his arms around Tony’s waist, giving him an excited grin. Any animosity disappears looking at that face, cheeks still round with youth. Tony sighs again, but wraps his arms around Peter, ruffling his hair. “Let’s go, I think we’ve left them waiting long enough.”

  
  


The first thing Tony notices is that everyone had a makeover. Thor had short hair and was missing an eye, Bruce had more grey in his hair than ever and was wearing… Tony’s clothes? What? And even Loki’s outfit was muted and modest compared to the amount of gold he was wearing the last time he was here.

“Friends! It is good to see you again!” Thor’s loud voice fills the air, and that’s all it takes to have a round of greetings fly around. Natasha and Bruce look especially glad to see each other.

“Hey, Nat.” Bruce whispers, smiling.

“Bruce.” Natasha smiles back, eyes hooded.

“No PDA! Be mindful of the baby.” Tony jokes, placing a hand on top of Peter’s eyes.

“Dad!” Comes Peter’s embarrassed whine, face flushing. “Stop it, I’m not a baby.”

Tony rolls his eyes but lets his hand drop nonetheless, facing the trio again. “Point Break, Bruce! Good to see you! Loki! Not really good to see you, but hello anyways!” Tony exclaims, grinning at them. He’s still incredibly conscious of Loki’s every move, but the god had stayed a little aways from the group and wasn’t carrying any visible weapons.

“Man of Iron! I am glad Midgard has treated you well. And it is nice to meet you too, Tonyson.” Thor greets them both, patting them both on the shoulders. Tony’s legs nearly give in at the force, and he only stays up because of Peter’s support. Damn enhanced teen muscles.

“Tonyson?” The two repeat back at the Asgardian, confused.

“Oh, right!” Thor smacks his forehead, and Tony has to hide a wince at the loud slap; he wouldn’t be surprised if his skull cracked. “In Asgard, we’d use the name of our father and add ‘son’ at the end. Though I remember on Earth you use last names, yes?” Thor inquires, smiling at them. It seems like the man didn’t seem phased at all that in the two years he’d been gone, Tony managed to obtain a 15-year-old child.

“Uh, yeah.” Tony responds, a little taken aback. He still can’t get used to anyone referring to Peter as a Stark, and now as a Tonyson?

“Then, nice to meet you, young Starkson.” Thor corrects himself, slapping Peter’s shoulder again. Peter looks on in wonder.

“Wow, uh, nice to meet you too, Mr. Thor—uh, Mr. Odinson.” Peter stammers out, practically shaking in his excitement.

Thor just laughs, “Please, call me Thor.”

“Tony!” Bruce joins in, jogging over to where they were standing. “Man, it’s good to see you.”

Bruce goes in for a hug, and Tony draws away from Peter a bit to give the scientist a one-armed hug. “It’s good to see you too, Brucie. I love the new clothing style, looks exactly like mine, down to the stain in the sleeve.” Bruce rolls his eyes.

They pull away from each other and Tony pulls Peter right against his side again. “This is Peter, by the way. He’s a big fan.”

The men both look at Peter, who is still shaking in excitement, a massive grin on his face. One of the kid’s hands had subconsciously started gripping the back of Tony’s shirt for security, and Tony is once again hit with how much this boy trusts him, how he truly does see Tony as this strong parental figure. “Hi, I’m a huge fan! Well, I’m also Peter but Dad already told you that, so I just wanted to say. I’m a big fan, like wow. I mean, I’ve looked up to you for years! You’re—”

“The Hulk, I know.” Bruce cuts him off, grinning awkwardly.

“What? Oh, yeah, you’re the Hulk! But like, I was gonna say you’re Dr. Bruce Banner! I’ve read all of your papers, even the ones you left here. I love your work on anti-electron collisions. I can’t believe I’m actually talking to you, oh my god, this is the greatest day of my life.” Peter’s awestruck rambling fades out, and Tony laughs fondly at him.

Bruce looks just as awestruck as Peter feels, choking out a soft ‘thanks’ before needing to clear his throat. “Thank you, Peter. I’m glad you have such a passion for my work. Your, uh, father was never one for nuclear physics.”

Tony butts in, ready to redeem himself. “Hey! I think I put a lot of effort into your interests.”

“I know you did, Tony, and thank you for that.” Bruce replies earnestly, sending a soft smile his way. Tony’s throat closes up, not quite sure how to respond to that heartfelt declaration. The hand Peter had on the back of his shirt tightens. “Also, stop wearing your pants so tight, I can barely fit into these.”

“Are you implying that your Hulk-sized di—”

“Is this over? I’d like to leave now.” Loki’s voice cuts through all the talking (thank god), and everyone turns to him. He’s crossing his arms and tapping his foot impatiently. “We came here for a reason, brother.”

“Yes! I came here to ask a favor of you all.” Thor says, becoming more somber. “Asgard has been destroyed, and I need a place for my people to stay.” 

  
  


One long explanation later, they’ve organized the Asgardian ship to be taken to the area of Norway Thor wanted to go to. It didn’t even take much to convince the Norwegian government; having their Norse Gods actually live in their country? It was a no-brainer.

While the adults were talking, Peter had moved to the kitchen to get some more snacks (Tony had nudged him over when he heard Peter’s stomach growl) and was surprised to find Loki there.

“Oh! Sorry, I thought I just saw you with Thor in the living room.” Peter apologized.

Loki smirked. “There is one of me in the living room, but I’m more interested in you.”

“Me?”

He nods. “You were not here last time. You don’t seem all too annoyed that I am here.”

“Well, I mean, I wasn’t really affected by the New York attack all those years ago. I was actually out of the city, so…” Peter trailed off, fidgeting nervously. The nerves weren’t from fear—his spidey-sense was quiet—but from just awkward feelings of meeting a new person. With Tony standing next to him, it was easy for him to introduce himself to Thor and Bruce, but his dad wasn’t with him right now. “I’m Peter, by the way.”

“I am Loki.”

“Nice to meet you Loki!”

The god looks almost shocked at the admission, but Peter’s already barreling forwards to avoid any awkward silences. “Do you like pop tarts?”

  
  
  


+1

 

You’d think after the first time, people wouldn’t try and kidnap Peter again. Tony had taken extra precautions after the first attempt: Peter was to always have a tracking device on him, namely his watch, wasn’t allowed to stay out too late as a civilian, and to give him hourly messages whenever he was patrolling. Sometimes the messages were automated, given to him by Karen, or Peter himself would send something. He’d also made sure that the fact that he was Peter’s second emergency contact was kept hidden. 

When Peter was kidnapped the second time, FRIDAY alerted him immediately.

_ “Boss, it appears as though Peter has been kidnapped.” _

Her voice was far too chirpy to be saying such things, Tony thought as he stood up, heart racing. “What happened exactly?”

_ “Peter was walking home when he was surrounded by a group of six men, all carrying baseball bats. Peter was hit repetitively until they managed to drag him into an unlicensed van.” _ FRIDAY replied.

“Track his location, play live audio and give me his vitals.”

_ “—lieve it was this easy to knock out the kid. We just gotta get him down to your place and send a ransom vid, right? Easy.” _ A man’s voice started playing through the lab, along with a holographic screen with Peter’s location moving rapidly down a street, but Peter’s vitals seemed steady. He wasn’t even unconscious. 

“FRIDAY? Is Peter awake?” Tony asked, confused.

_ “Peter is conscious. He appears to be pretending to be unconscious.” _

Tony exhaled forcefully, dragging a hand down his face. “Call a team meeting, I need to talk to them. Have everyone available come to the common room immediately, and tell them it’s about Peter.” He ordered FRIDAY as he jogged to the elevator.

Fortunately, all the team were available and quick to meet up, every face worried. Even the newcomers from space looked troubled, and Tony’s distrust of Loki lessened seeing him even a little bit worried about his kid.

“Tones? What’s going on?” Rhodey asks, braces whirring softly as he placed a hand on Tony’s shoulder. “Is Peter alright?”

Tony sighs again. “Peter’s been kidnapped.  _ Again. _ ”

That causes the team to stir into a frenzy. Some wanted to go after him immediately, while others were already making plans, and some were just shocked. They’ve barely managed to calm themselves down before FRIDAY interrupts.

_ “Boss, incoming video call from Peter.” _

Tony jerks. “Answer it, FRI. Put it up on a screen.” A holographic screen pops up, and at first there’s nothing, and then suddenly Peter’s face appears. The boy’s face fills the entire screen, the video shaking like he was running, and there’s screaming and yelling in the background, but Peter looks gleeful.

_ “Hey, Dad! Guess what!” _ Peter doesn’t wait for him to reply, extending his arm out so now everyone can see what’s going on. Peter is indeed running down a hallway in what looks like an old apartment building. Physically, the kid looks fine; the concerning bit is the men running after him with broken broken baseball bats and—why aren’t they wearing pants? 

“Oh god, Pete, what did you do?” Tony screeches. “Are you alright?”

_ “I’m fine, Dad, promise! They don’t have guns. They tried to kidnap me and send you a video for ransom, but they couldn’t figure out how to use the new StarkPhone. I offered to help but they started screaming at me instead so I took their pants.” _ Peter explains nonchalantly as if robbing people of their pants was chill, but there’s pride in his voice as he dodges a flying piece of wood without looking.

Tony feels like collapsing into a pile on the floor. That kid was  _ sure  _ to send him into cardiac arrest one of these days, he was certain. How does May handle this?! “Kid, it’s not nice to steal people’s pants—”

_ “It’s not nice to kidnap people either.” _

He pauses. “...Touché. Hang tight, we’ll come get you.”

_ “Nah, I’ll just swing by. Don’t waste your time. Hey! That was a perfectly good sandwich you just threw at me!” _ Peter yells at someone as, yes, a sandwich flies by.  _ “Did you think your PB&J was going to stop me?” _

_ “I don’t know! Stop fucking running!” _ Someone else yells back.

_ “Watch your fucking language!”  _ Peter roars back, and Tony has given up on everything. Was it so hard to live a normal life? Was he doomed to forever worry over a teenage superhero who did dumb stuff every moment of his waking life? Oh god, is this how Pepper felt? He needs to get her some flowers and a raise and a new fiancé.

_ “You watch your own fucking language, shithead!” _

_ “Make me, dipshit!” _

“Peter!” Tony blurts out, aghast. “Who taught these words?!”

_ “You did, Dad!” _ Is Peter’s bright response, an enormous smirk on his face. 

All eyes turn to him, silently judging but amused. Tony sweats. “No, no. You sure it wasn't your aunt? Or Pep?”

_ “Oh, May swears too but she’s a lot more subtle about it! And Mom doesn’t swear at all, you should know this.” _ Peter’s phone shakes violently as he throws someone out of his way, not at all winded by his fighting as he keeps a tight hold of his phone.

“Well, actually, she swears quite colorfully when we’re alone in the bedroom while—” Tony cheekily replies, cutting himself off as everyone around him groans in union, and his son lets out his own shriek of embarrassment.

_ “Gross! TMI, Dad!”  _ Face red, he easily bats away the last two men coming after him.  _ “I’m going to hang up now. Can you call the police and tell them what happened?” _

The billionaire laughs, smiling easily now that Peter’s more-or-less safe. “Sure, kid. Don’t leave, I’m going to come get you.”

_ “I’ll swing up to a building and wait for you there.” _ He compromises, and Tony gives a hesitant nod.  _ “I’ll be fine, Dad, promise. Oh, hey everyone!” _

Peter finally notices the team behind Tony, so he figures this is a good a time as any. “Team, meet Queens’ friendly neighborhood Spider-man, and resident #1 pain in my ass.”

_ “Thanks, I try my best.” _

Almost everyone has shocked expressions on their faces. Natasha wasn’t surprised (shocker), but she looked almost impressed. Her fellow spider was strong, but his technique could do with some improving. Sam was smirking; he’d fought Peter before, and knew just how hard it was to fight him, so those lousy kidnappers were nothing. Vision was impassive, and Rhodey was laughing quietly next to him.

Everyone else may have looked surprised, but not as much as Tony was expecting. Well, it wasn’t like they were doing a great job at trying to keep it a secret. Peter ate as much as Steve; hell, he even  _ beat _ Steve at an eating competition, though Tony wasn’t sure if Steve was putting his all. Peter’s reflexes were off the charts, and for someone who apparently wasn’t any good at sports, he was mighty strong. Plus, all his injuries seemed to mysteriously disappear hours after he gets them.

“...So, you and Barnes got owned by a child?” Clint turns to Sam, grinning smugly. 

“Man, shut the hell up. You try going against someone as strong as Cap and can  _ fly. _ ” Sam points a finger at the archer. “Plus that gooey sticky stuff that shoots out of him.”

There’s a long pause. Peter pipes up.  _ “Mr. Wilson—Sam, I gotta say... That’s nasty.” _

Tony looks like he’s considering taking a nap or committing a murder, somewhere in between. “Please, help me God.”

“Yes?” Thor questions, eager to please. 

Loki snorts. “Not you, you buffoon.”

Thor deflates, and Bruce pats the god on his ginormous bicep comfortingly. “Don’t worry, you can help if you want.” Bruce looks at Tony eagerly, and Tony sighs but obliges.

“Thor, you can help with snacks for movie night tonight. Get as much as you want. I’m going to get Peter.” Thor beams at him, clearly very excited to be able to help in whatever way he can. Tony can’t help but smile at him. He reminded him of Peter in a way; just a bunch of big eager puppies.

“Movie night?” Bruce questions. Right, they’d only been here a day or two.

“Yeah, just like the good old times.” Tony responds, clapping a hand on the scientist’s shoulder, sending a smile to Steve. 

Steve smiles back. “I’d say the good new times are better.”

**Author's Note:**

> lethal's excuses for being a month late:  
> 1) i had 4 essays that were due the day i planned on publishing this, so i had to work on that  
> 2) i saw endgame, it broke my heart and all of my motivation  
> 3) school sucks  
> 4) i'm lazy lol
> 
> hope y'all enjoyed!


End file.
